Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Tale of Two Bukits

Today satD will again try to apply basic statistical analysis + some monkey vodoo to derive the winning strategy for the incoming by-election.

satD has correctly predicted Trengganu and also probable death of some MP’s which would trigger a by-election (not that i wish for anyone to die)....

This monkey now wants to see if he is on a roll…..

Let us now look at the numbers:



Lets start with Bukit number 1, called gantang……out here in Indonesia it would be loosely translated as Handsome Hill, first of all satD would like to congratulate Abdullah Fadzil Che Wan for holding the fort since 1986 and have consistently been delivering a very respectable margin (what the fuck happen to him?still hidup ka? If not my condolences to the family).

Then in 1999 for reasons unknown to satD, BN passed the seat to a Chinese (Tan Lian Hoe) who then delivered a pretty good feng sui 8888 margin against a Pas Candidate called Lo’Lo….that name still makes satD smile…in some places it’s the slang for a blowjob….kesian dia. satD also thinks that even a monkey from BN could win in 1999, so must treat that data point with caution, but he still wonders why put a Chinese there?

Did the voter demographics changed with some fancy pusing sana pusing sini and suddenly there’s a new area within the seat which comprises of a significant Chinese voters?

Now let us look at the latest data point in 2008 where Roslan Shaharum from PAS in his second outing bantai Azim Zabidi of BN with 1566 winning votes. satD first impression on the trend was, people in Handsome Hill actually stick with Abdullah Fadzil for years, so he must be doing something right,then the change to Tan Lian Hoe (a Chinese) then back to a Malay candidate who then lost…..the most natural thing satD said was that bring back Abdullah Fadzil…but then he looked at Tan Lian Hoe the woman from Gerakan who delivered a pretty decent margin……

so satD now pusing already, first a straight fight between UMNO and PAS (both Male candidate), then put a royal rumble of two ladies.....they slot in a Gerakan top gun against a PAS top gun….then suddenly the switch in 2008, who the fuck runs the strategy satD asks....

Out of the pening and pusing satD now gonna bet his monkey ass on the winning candidate for handsome hill to be a TOP GUN WOMEN from MCA….don't ask me why folks, something brewing in my tummy about this one...


Now let us look at Bukit No 2…called Selambau(the melaka version of Selamba)…or Chill Out Hill…



This one even more interesting, blardy thing evolve from a straight fight between UMNO and PAS, then suddenly went Indian in 1995 and became a 3 way fight with DAP tumpang sekaki, each time there is a Malay going against 2 Indian candidates and satD must say the Malay candidate still command a considerable vote, then suddenly in 2008 a Bebas pulled the upset in a battle of 2 Indians……..

satD again pening kepala naik malas cause he does not have the demographic data on both Bukits……

After a couple of ciggies satD decided to take a safe bet that AN INDIAN MUSLIM candidate will win in Chill Out Hill….




Well folks there you have it my take on the two bukits...go on folks keep on wasting our time with politics..this is really fucking fantastic...

Perhaps EC should take up Insurance Policy against the winning candidate that will pay if the candidate dies or resign to cover the cost of the blardy election....
Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. -Lord Thomas Dewer