Friday, February 27, 2009

Dear Allah


Dear Allah Subhanawataala

My name is satD (but you know the real person before I was even born), I am one of your hamba living in a country called Malaysia created by a bunch of people back in 1957. This country has Islam as its official religion and guarantees religious freedom to others through its constitution. This country also specifically has a provision that protects Muslims against the propagation of other religion (alhamdullilah to our founding fathers for insisting that into our constitution). The actual enforcement of such provision is to be gazetted into the individual state constitution as the individual states Jabatan Agama Islam will be the agent to ensure that the provision under the Federal Constitution are adhered to.

I am saddened with the current on-goings on the need of using your name in the religious documents of other faith. It seems that the overall discussion have been specifically focused on the use of your name in Bahasa Malaysia which is our national language. Promoters of the idea have been focusing on the fact that your name have been used since 1800's. They insist on the use specifically for their Bahasa Malaysia documents ONLY and not in our Second Language which is English.

In the past few weeks, the cyberspace have been debating this issue from the linguistic perspective of using your name but I have always wondered on a few things that I think only you would know.

1. If Islam came to our shores prior to Christianity, would the locals of our land then would have been addressing you the Supreme Being by Allah Subhanahuwataala

2. Could the person who was tasked to propagate the other religion; specifically Christianity would have arrived circa 1600's after the rise of Melaka probably have brought with him a Bible NOT in the Native Language of the locals of our land.

3. In order to propagate his religion, he/she would need to translate the bible into the Native Language for ease of dissemination.

4. Could the process of translation involves the preacher going around asking the locals who and what do you call your god? and given the fact that the majority of the people being muslims would have answered the one and only Allah Subhanahuwataala

5. Knowing this fact the preacher then conveniently substituted the word God (in his original document) with your name even though every other Bible in the world does not use your name except for those who share the same root language with arabic, so that he could easily achieve his task and also make future efforts of propagating Christianity to the locals a breeze this is in consideration of the fact that God is Tuhan in our language

I have written about this before to inquire of the need to use your name and one soul came to provide a counter argument by asking me to speculate on the number of Malays converts.....does it matter if the number is 100,000 or just 1 person....if the Federal and State Constitution already has provision to protect the Malay Muslims from any form of elements that may lead to conversions........

What if for the sake of settling this issue once and for all, the Malaysian Government ALLOW the production, use and distribution of Bahasa Malaysia Bibles WITHOUT the use of ALLAH as a term of reference to God......Plus this is the time of the INTERNET ANYONE CAN DOWNLOAD A ONLINE COPY OF THE MALAY BIBLE into their home without the religious authority knowing. Regulations and Enforcement must keep up with the evolution of technology, if regulation are enacted but is too costly to implement or impossible to monitor then the intended objective is not achieved.

Ya Allah Give us Guidance..........I am not someone who is against other religion nor want to stir up negative debates on this particular matter, I am for all Malaysian to live in harmony with one another and have written about this matter before to raise the awareness

Ya Allah Guide Us, Our Leaders and Policy makers to Make the Right Well Informed Choice for the Stability of Our Nation

Ameen.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dey Karpal Which Part of Punjab ur from??

Kici Kici Bola Hoki Sudah Besar Bola Rugby

Dey Karpal you are one inconsistent crap load of shit.....sikijam mau saman Sultan sekarang ape cerita?

Sendiri punya party pun ta bole control ka? Lagi bising sana sini habuk pun tara?

Tell me what in the world have you achieved throughout your "illustrious" career as an agent provocator in the Malaysian Political arena?........................


Singh is King my ass.......you better start behaving before I put a turban back on your head and send you back to punjab....and give that handicap parking space in parliament to those more deserving...

Orang sini bilang kamu tu udah kaduluarasa....

OFF!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

What the F**k happen to Us?

What makes someone want to sodomise and rape a baby !!!!!!!

if this ever happen to me directly I will gladly take the law into my own hands........
....... cop off their cocks, stuff it up their arse, cut off their tongue, poke their ear drums, cut their fingers one by one with a blunt knife......and finally let them look at my face before i take out their eyes.....

Then if needed satD will surrender to the police...

Pictures of the offenders SHOULD BE MADE PUBLIC!!!!!!!

Pictures and Details of Released Offenders should be MADE PUBLIC so that we know if they are lurking in our neighborhood..

satD is blardy pusing with the on-goings in Malaysia.....and this news just tops it for today..

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Goodbye Ibrahim Hussein

At 14 i was on my first visit to a gallery(after a visit to Gila-Gila Office)....there he was......dressed in all white.......pristine indeed....i walked up to him.....and handed him a piece of paper....

He smiled at me...not a word uttered.....he began scribbling in some cacing strokes that eventually turn out to be a small piece of art.......

15 years later......i was at the Grand-stand of the 1st F1 in Malaysia......there he was again....in all white....i looked at him and smiled.....this time we had a photo together....i said thank u but it was so loud that i couldn't hear myself......


For a man with one eye (no depth of perception) he has achieved so much as an artist....today Malaysia just lost her most famous...

Al-fatihah....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Wanted : Orang Alim to Guide Malaysians

Dear Malaysian Hindu Brothers

Are you saying that kat Malaysia got no one to become priest that you have to import from overseas?

Not good ma.....must have local orang alim in all religion, religion is a very communal thing....and it does not help with local employment issues either.......

Make sure this is a temporary thinggy.....ensure that they transfer the "technology" to the locals

Peace people...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Revamping Fresh Produce Distribution Channel in Malaysia

I'm too preoccupied and also very malas to elaborate on this....

Key Components :

1. Increase Retail Hypermarts to cover the whole Malaysia.

2. Have a policy for them to buy a certain percentage of local produce.

3. Turn their parking lots (specific centers only) for Night Market after 12 Midnight for Wholesale pasar borong where they will buy from local producers within the area and for other wholesale buyers/sellers to participate.

4. Cut out middle man (typical modal is one or two lorries to deliver the goods to wholesale market and earn close to 150% on top of producer prices) by creating the most efficient logistic operation by Keretapi Tanah Melayu with lorry services to be delivered directly to KTM stations which will be serviced by High Speed Moving Pasar Borong equipped with Cold Storage Capacity etc etc bla bla bla....(To make it more interesting add in a profit sharing arrangement between KTM and the producers through a cooperative structure to all local fresh produce producers irrespective of race)

5. Hopefully net-net prices can go down and be more stable and primary producers are no longer at the mercy of the middle man......

but must build high speed train oops......whats the status on that one ah?


Ok gotta go...bibi

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Tale of Two Bukits

Today satD will again try to apply basic statistical analysis + some monkey vodoo to derive the winning strategy for the incoming by-election.

satD has correctly predicted Trengganu and also probable death of some MP’s which would trigger a by-election (not that i wish for anyone to die)....

This monkey now wants to see if he is on a roll…..

Let us now look at the numbers:



Lets start with Bukit number 1, called gantang……out here in Indonesia it would be loosely translated as Handsome Hill, first of all satD would like to congratulate Abdullah Fadzil Che Wan for holding the fort since 1986 and have consistently been delivering a very respectable margin (what the fuck happen to him?still hidup ka? If not my condolences to the family).

Then in 1999 for reasons unknown to satD, BN passed the seat to a Chinese (Tan Lian Hoe) who then delivered a pretty good feng sui 8888 margin against a Pas Candidate called Lo’Lo….that name still makes satD smile…in some places it’s the slang for a blowjob….kesian dia. satD also thinks that even a monkey from BN could win in 1999, so must treat that data point with caution, but he still wonders why put a Chinese there?

Did the voter demographics changed with some fancy pusing sana pusing sini and suddenly there’s a new area within the seat which comprises of a significant Chinese voters?

Now let us look at the latest data point in 2008 where Roslan Shaharum from PAS in his second outing bantai Azim Zabidi of BN with 1566 winning votes. satD first impression on the trend was, people in Handsome Hill actually stick with Abdullah Fadzil for years, so he must be doing something right,then the change to Tan Lian Hoe (a Chinese) then back to a Malay candidate who then lost…..the most natural thing satD said was that bring back Abdullah Fadzil…but then he looked at Tan Lian Hoe the woman from Gerakan who delivered a pretty decent margin……

so satD now pusing already, first a straight fight between UMNO and PAS (both Male candidate), then put a royal rumble of two ladies.....they slot in a Gerakan top gun against a PAS top gun….then suddenly the switch in 2008, who the fuck runs the strategy satD asks....

Out of the pening and pusing satD now gonna bet his monkey ass on the winning candidate for handsome hill to be a TOP GUN WOMEN from MCA….don't ask me why folks, something brewing in my tummy about this one...


Now let us look at Bukit No 2…called Selambau(the melaka version of Selamba)…or Chill Out Hill…



This one even more interesting, blardy thing evolve from a straight fight between UMNO and PAS, then suddenly went Indian in 1995 and became a 3 way fight with DAP tumpang sekaki, each time there is a Malay going against 2 Indian candidates and satD must say the Malay candidate still command a considerable vote, then suddenly in 2008 a Bebas pulled the upset in a battle of 2 Indians……..

satD again pening kepala naik malas cause he does not have the demographic data on both Bukits……

After a couple of ciggies satD decided to take a safe bet that AN INDIAN MUSLIM candidate will win in Chill Out Hill….




Well folks there you have it my take on the two bukits...go on folks keep on wasting our time with politics..this is really fucking fantastic...

Perhaps EC should take up Insurance Policy against the winning candidate that will pay if the candidate dies or resign to cover the cost of the blardy election....

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Kamaruddin Jaafar Some Clarification Please

Oi Pakcik........bawak bertenang sikit.....kalu nak bagi statement tu biar la logical.....

From NST
KUALA LUMPUR: Pas secretary-general Datuk Kamaruddin Jaafar yesterday brushed aside the call by Jerlun MP Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir for Pas assemblymen in Perak to join Umno. Kamaruddin dismissed Mukhriz's invitation, saying that he was not in a position to make such offers. "It is an insult for someone from such a low position as the youth (council member) to make such an invitation" he said. "Pas will not entertain the invitation," he added briefly when contacted yesterday.




Couple of questions today for you....

Who is in a position to make such offer to PAS?

What kind of "offer" would PAS entertain? (minus the Negara Islam part)

Is PAS considering such a move?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Lousy Gambler

Do you bet big or bet small?

Especially after you feel like you are on a roll…….

Most people would look at their chips, do I have enough? Should I just roll on further or bail out……

Say you bet…..and you bet BIG……everyone was so "sure" that you are gonna win….warning signs were everywhere…….the house was in a riot……..as the dice rolled….hopeful faces…..a five came…..you needed a nine to win…..you LOST…..and scream that the table was not flat………

Everyone looked at the table and agreed that somehow the house had an added advantage against you….

Months later….you suddenly feel the urge to bet again……not that you’ve got that many chips left…so you go to a smaller table……you try your luck again…excited after seeing someone else winning at another smaller table…..maybe lady luck is back in town….maybe this will be it, the critical trigger point where the house will lose…… so you whack….. put everything you got…if you lose you already know what your next course of action will be……….go for the table, the dealer and the casino…..at least go out with a BANG……..



YB Karpal Singh, A BIG THANK YOU for your recently acquired wisdom.(But I still think that you are one kurang ajar dude)

You deserve a slow clap the next time you appear in Parliament…..and for your LAST STEPS out of Perak

This is the best welcome home gift I’ve ever received….…Alhamdullilah.

Ahh…before I forget again(this seems to be my favorite line these days) Lousy Gambler also tried to GAMBLE big time in 1998…..he shorted stocks and wanted to take over a large part of KLSE…..now some of you would be wondering how in the world does satD knows.....maybe he's lying.....worry not the blogspace code of conduct have just been written...if u kencing just do a Dear Whatever...you should be perfectly fine.......

If any of you start to demand proof of the above paragraph......i say hold one let us not wonder into a 10 ringgit statutory declaration soap opera. I do not plan to go to ISA by publishing any “supporting” documents folks…..that bit part I leave to Lousy Gambler Greatest Cheerleader.

Instead lets have a tea party folks….anybody got a teapot?

This is gonna be sooooooo much fun!!!!!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Ni Memang Kurang Ajar

Kalau lu ade depan gua ....gua dah pelempang lu pastu gua sepak lu pastu gua pijak kepala lu pastu gua kencing atas kepala lu.......

Berani lu buat perangai macam ni.....




Mana lu tau kalau mamat ni tak cabut lari pergi America lepas ni.....

lepak sane jadi Cikgu...naik private jet sane sini..

This man spreads hate among us........

They were united because of common hate......

UPDATES : Lupe tadi...

Lepas tu gua ketuk kepala lu dengan TEAPOT

Ini macam ka "human rights" moderation policy.....comment macam sial pun boleh masuk ..

lepas tu hina Sultan....pulak tu.......

anybody in KL....do a policy report against them.......

Lets see if he can defend himself..........kalau lu tera la.....

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Electing Your Way out of A Crisis....

20 years ago I went to school with a mean looking "i'm gonna snatch your handbag kinda guy" called Sawai he was the only thing i could associate with Bota.....he was from Bota Kanan.....fast forward today........all this Perak pingpong team kinda got me thinking.....how can i create value out of this......

So listen folks.....

here's the deal.....

Every state in Malaysia..will do a lat ta li lat lai li tam plong and decide who will go next for state election, bubar the whole state government.....have fresh election....

Every 3 months a new state gets its turn...something like main kutu la.....

Since we got 13 states then that's 39 months which would then take us closer towards the next general election........if needed a few candidates at the Federal level can roll over and die every few month before the next general election.......

Say for each state election the Federal Government allocates and spend1 Billion for development plus 500Million spending money(in vouchers) to buy the votes......this will surely stimulate domestic demand for each of the respective states......the best part is that it will go directly to the rakyat jelata sekalian yang duduk sibuk nak berpakat pakat.....ni baru direct stimulation of the economy...

The political parties now will then have to put a minimum 200,000 deposit to the Election Commission for each candidate to ensure that EC can cover its cost to undertake fresh election every 3 months..........this new regulation will also ensure that only candidates with financial capacity can contest..........as for the source of the money, the Tax department will close one eye on this, and will be tax deductible over the next five years should you lose, for the winners only 30% is refundable.....

Those with the intellectual capacity,charisma, idealism and dedication to serve rakyat should not apply if they do not have the minimum 200,000K, they must work their way to get the required funding by hook or by crook........they may solicit funds from foreign governments, shady offshore NGO's, rich taukeys and all slimeball looking rich mafaker....

Ok lets see now, that's about 19.5 Billion spread over the next 39 months.. not including the advertisement and all the multiplier effect that it will generate....mmmm nah fuck this shit..




To the people of Perak............GO FLY A TEAPOT!!!

Do you accept a space monkey?

Datuk Dr Maximus Ongkili
The Science, Technology and Innovation Ministry
Putrajaya

Re: Space Person Foundation

Dear Datuk

I am writing to you to apply for basic daily per diem while i'm on planet earth, my spaceship landed here back in November due to technical problems with my light-speed turbo booster. I am currently awaiting for spare-parts to arrive and have not been able to find a job to sustain my daily needs. This week alone I've been busted twice near Kepong Kebun Pisang while scaping for left over food.

I have extensive experience in space travel and would be happy to share them with those who are willing to pay to hear me talk. Planets visited includes my home planet Uranus, Saturn and that used to be planet called Pluto.

If your goverment have further defense contract with the Russian Federation I would be happy to help train more Malaysian space tourist, perhaps this time we can create a special reality TV program that can track them all the way from selection up to their travel to space and we can also create talk shows based on their experience. To generate revenue we can also get the public to vote via SMS on who they think should get the spot.

If I may suggest the producer should be Dr Mazlan Othman since she has DEDICATED her life to the promotion of astronomy and astro-physics, on top of it she was instrumental in setting up our national planetarium and have always wanted to go to space since she was small.

Looking forward to your favorable reply on the matter.

Yours Sincerely
satD
The Space Monkey From Uranus

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Devil in The Data: Investigating The Need for ALLAH Usage in the Bible

Much ado about the use of "Allah" .......

Most ask why kecoh kecoh........and go around quoting the fact that it’s been used from time immemorial.....ye ke? If so why don't you sign the petition then

Let me introduce you to Joshua Project......they've compiled an in depth n granular data on the Malaysian Population and the level of penetration of Christianity.....

Go here ........ you'll understand why....

Ask any publisher in the world..........

Do you print for the need of the minority or for the GOAL OF MASS DISTRIBUTION?

I say be STRAIGHT FORWARD with your intention.....

FOLKS IF U WANT TO COMMENT CLICK THE POST HYPERLINK

Further readings to understand my concern

Sejarah Kristianisasi di Indonesia

Metode Kristianisasi di Indonesia

Membendung Arus Kristianisasi

Forum Antisipasi Gerakan Pemurtadan

UPDATES 5/2 9:57PM:

Forgot to mention this earlier..


..they have succeeded against the Malays in the Philippines

Monday, February 2, 2009

satDnomic Principles of A Successful Screw

As with any screwing session.....there are core basic principles one must follow.....it is not a simple as riding a bicycle....plus never seen any porn involving any bicycles...cars and motorcycles yes....but never bicycles.

Our biggest problem now is our Big Momma is not feeling too well....not just her...other Big Mommas around her is pretty sick as well........come to think of it that blondie biatch from America is in ICU now......

So how do you screw a sick lady.......

Principle 1 : TIMELY

You need to do it a soon as possible to ensure that she gets the much needed dosage of love, you cannot ding dong around the parliament or within the Halls of MOF to decide on when to do it.


Principle 2 : LARGE

Give her a big dose of Lurveee.........if you expect the drop in demand to be large...then pound her hard......wake her up from the slumber.....


Principle 3 : LASTING

How long do you think this sickness of Big Momma is gonna last?...If you expect that it's gonna be a long one, you must be prepared for a well spread out action......not a quick one....do it in a series and waves.......you must make sure that we can survive the incoming bad weather ahead


Principle 4 : DIVERSIFIED

As we all know by now that Big Momma is Sooo BIG.....hence there is so much uncertainty regarding which measures will be most effective.....



So what do you do?........To me LAYERING is key......there are various layers inside Big Momma, this can only be known thru the BOGEL process in my previous post....find out every possible areas which you can play with....and know their multiplier effect to satisfy Big Momma




Principle 5 : CONTINGENT

You must also give us the confidence that you can still FUCK her if needed.....if you say that you've got no more bullets....how in the world are we gonna have any confidence in your ability to take care of Big Momma.......

In such that I would actually demand that the Government GIVE us the full confidence that further action WILL be taken, if needed....in writing NOW.


Principle 6 : COLLECTIVE

Since every Big Momma around the world is sick......then everyone that have the ability to stimulate should use it given the global impact of the downturn .........



Principle 7 : SUSTAINABLE

This is the most tricky part, how can we AVOID debt explosion in the long run while MITIGATING the adverse effects in the Short Run...........


So all of you in the respective agencies put your monkey brain together and come up with something that can get us through this...........

Do not get sidelined with all this jumping frog circus......
Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. -Lord Thomas Dewer